journal entry from 1.24.09

i am broken and empty.

this weekend i found out i am broken and empty. i had an indescribable experience and was overcome with emotion that i had kept inside for far too long.
this weekend i felt something i had never felt before.
this weekend i made new friends. i sat alone in silence. i was no longer intimidated.
this weekend i cried with sadness and with joy.
this weekend i laughed so hard i cried.
this weekend i had an extremely slap happy night.
this weekend i ate too much candy and ordered a late night pizza that was completely unnecessary. i sang with true feelings. i loved wholely.
this weekend i played intense dodge ball and roughed it for a day.
this weekend i survived without the internet and stayed up way too late.
this weekend i was cold, but warm on the inside.
this weekend i found something that had been missing. i found You.
this weekend i slept in my clothes and i listened to the silence.
this weekend i ate jello and shockers, but not at the same time.
this weekend i was me and i found the me on the inside. i took a nap for the first time in a long time and it felt so good.
this weekend i had fun.
this weekend i learned, i pondered, i read, i understood, i contemplated, and i was unsure all at the same time.
this weekend was real.