Sunday, March 8, 2009

my secret life

a page for miss kara's life story class. when i lived in japan i loved eating onigiri...a rice ball wrapped in seaweed.

i feel like i live a double life with my art. there is me...the one who does nothing but play tennis everyday. the one who has been committed to her sport almost all her life...the tennis girl. that's me at my high school. i am also that funny girl who has a lot of guy friends at school because there is less drama. i am the smart, tennis girl who is in all honors/AP classes. i only have two really good girlfriends at school. the rest of my girlfriends are at tennis who i see all the time at practice and tournaments.

then there is the second me. the creative/crafty girl. the girl who quilts and takes pictures...the one with a blog who rambles about things almost completely separate from the other her. the one with an online shop and a bunch of online friends whom she has never "met" before. she also reads a bunch of other blogs about people she doesn't know, but thinks she does.

i have realized that i live a double life. the more i think about it though...i'm not me without both parts. my art and crafty endeavors help me relax and give me energy to play tennis and train all the time. up front i keep it all separate, but really my lives coexist. some just are not aware of my other half. no one at school or tennis knows about my blog or art. i don't want that bad?

yesterday i spent the day with one of my friends from school. we went to see "he's just not that into you". WE LOVED IT!!!!! it was absofruitly amazzzzzzzing!!! then we came home and ate some sushi and played cards before we went out to see "confessions of a shopaholic". it was vair vair vair cute...but we made the executive decision that "he's just not that into is the best and we would most definitely buy it. it was a chick flick day.

when she was over at my house i realized how much about my second life she didn't know about. when she saw my room, it pretty much gave it all away. random paintings on the shelves, quiltlets and quilts strewn about, half finished stuffed hippos on the window seat, my journal and anthro catalogs on the floor, my life story box, the typewriter on my desk, and the picture wall and old cameras. wow. she didn't know i had a blog, had been published twice, journalled on a daily basis, or had a world of online friends. she knew i was crafty, but not to that extent. i've decided she and my other really good friend can know about it, but they are sworn to secrecy. i just feel the need to keep it all separate even though both parts are who i am.
ps. sorry for the extremely long post. if you've made it here to the end leave me a comment with your thoughts and i'll will pick someone to win a little something. comments will close on wednesday.


Kara said...

i am exactly the same way.

other than my two best friends and my best "guyfriend"(hahahaha), no one knows about it.

some people have seen stuff i make, but i didn't even tell those three about it. it was just something mentioned and not really explained or discovered.... i don't know.

i like it that way. i'd be horrified if some school friends or even my sister or whatever knew about my blog. there are parts of me that i don't want others to see.

i don't think it's bad. and i don't feel bad for leading "two different lives", because all this online stuff needs to get outta me. it's just a journal that i don't want others to see.

yeah. i think i want to do a blog post on this now... hmmm...

jeeesh. you are too cool.

debra said...

Kayla you are wise beyond your years. The good news is that you are expressing yourself both in tennis and in art. Art is a more solitary process and it is to be expected that it is more under the radar. Tennis is more visible and more publicly "seen". You have physical gifts and artistic gifts and you are doing exactly what you should be doing by expressing both to the best of your ability. It is important that you are doing both. You are very talented and you need to create art for yourself and for us - the rest of the world. We are all counting on you to make art to make the world just a little bit better place! You go girl!

And - about the girls...Girls are tough - very tough. Especially in their teens. Boys have MUCH less drama! I did the same thing in my teens. I always gravitated and related better with boys as friends.

Have a good week! Debra